I am helping with the First Year Missions doing Discipleship and ministry with them in South Africa; we came to Swaziland for a week outreach. I have been doing hospital ministry this week in Swazi... I forgot how much I love it here, I go to the baby ward and pray with the mom's and spend time with them, even teaching them how to care for the babies, they don't have the mother instinct, they receive it well and it helps me build relations with them... I then OF COURSE spend time with the babies, holding them, praying for them and trying to be Jesus to them... This week I had a connection with 5 babies and parents 3 have died and one is one the way... the other day I was holding this baby who was an abortion gone bad, she had burn marks all over her body and was in so much pain, I prayed so hard for her... her name was Papilla it means "life" her mom left her and the dad was trying to take care of her, but didn't know the first thing about babies, I talked to him and showed him how to change her diaper and to hold the baby close, she had ants crawling on her cause the baby was laying in blankets full of pee, as I was changing her I felt how stiff she was, and she was clammy cold.... Little did I know that she was dying, I have never felt anyone like that, and it broke my heart to hear that she died hours after I left. Yesterday I was with a little boy, he hasn't eaten in 7 days and was stiff and cold just like papilla, I couldn't stop crying, all these babies are dying and don't have a chance! Marissa asked the nurses why they are dying. She told her they have diarrhea, Marissa said that wouldn't kill them, and then she told they have AIDS and never live more than three months. It has been killing me, it is hard because God has given me the compassion and I have such a heart for them but it is killing me inside to hold dying babies. I need prayer for peace in my spirit. Pray for courage to be with the mothers afterwards and the words that I speak to be from the Lord. I want nothing of myself… I can say nothing to comfort and bring peace, these people need Jesus. I am just the empty vessel that He is choosing to use… I feel weak and unprepared, but I am walking in this in faith, knowing that He is with me. Pray for Life for these precious little ones, and pray for the mothers as they come to the hospital that Jesus will meet them and they will find peace and comfort in the midst of loss. I am heading back to South Africa on Monday; I will continue to work with the First Year Mission teams until I come home for Christmas. I am excited to see all that God is doing within this team of young students.