Hard Questions
I went to the mountains yesterday and I as I climbed to the top I felt this longing to know my Father in a way that goes beyond the “Christian walk” as I know it. I want to let Him out of this box that I have placed Him in. I decided to let my friends walk ahead and I just sat down and watched the sky. October skies have always caught my attention. There is something that happens in my spirit when I am in the cool crisp air and all I can see is the sky and clouds. I feel free. As I was sitting there I heard the question…
If all else fails would you still love me?
Oh course God! Why would you ask me that? I heard again…
Will you choose to love me if all else fails? Then I stopped and began to get real with myself, I thought
“if my Grandfather dies, will I still love you God”? “If you choose to take another one of my nephew’s home before they have a chance to live, will I still praise you”? “Will I see you as the giver of life if a child dies of Aids while I am holding them?” “Will I bless your name in spite of “life” Then I was silent… I wanted to scream YES! I will love you no matter what. You have my heart, you are sovereign. I trust you, but then I realized that I have never been in those situations before. As much as I desired to scream yes Lord, My heart felt heavy. I wasn’t sure of my answer. Yes I will still love Him, but how will this change my heart? Will I still cling to Him in my time of pain and despair? I want to be so in love with Him that the world around me becomes as a shadow and as I press into Him the cares of this world will fade away. I desire that passion, that faith of fully trusting in His unfailing love and grace. I am by no means there, but I am striving.
I don’t know if I have a complete answer yet, but He knows my heart.
Hello pretty sister, I love you and I am praying for you. Good job on the picture, and writing. Love-jonnie
thanks, Heather, for the profound introspection and for sharing w/ us the fruit.
You encouraging letters serve not only to glorify our heavenly Father, but also to inspire your christian brethren to greater love and service for our wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
We love you!!
Bob & Pat
“I will lead her into solitude, and there I will speak to her heart” see Hosea 2:14
Praise God Heather. I am so excited that I have the opportunity to see each one of my sisters grow in Christ. He is evident and alive with in you. I praise God for exposing his light so brightly through you to others. I love you sis!
you’re a great writer – i’ve been blessed by reading your entries.
If you have a minute, i would recommend you to register at
Mission-World.
We’re praying for a mission-giving revolution, may God keep blessing people through you.
For His kingdom,
Candice
Heather, what a mighty and great challenge that lies ahead of you. It’s so wonderful just to know someone as close to God as you are. Keep shining your light for Jesus and your anwsers will always be more clear.
I love you always like a
sister, in his light
kat